Oh hey, I was just fixing my shower. Come on in.

Crotches are Forever

There's a face every girl makes at some point her life, odds are you've come across it on Facebook. Those images that never seem to disappear from your newsfeed of the same girls in the same poses captured twelve different times because, like David Fincher, they are constantly searching for some elusive perfection. 

It's in the eyes: a somewhat vacant, yearning quality that transcends the camera and bores into your very soul.  It's as if they have been standing there for ages, waiting desperately for the camera to flash,  the chance to finally release their aching cheeks from holding their perfect, white smiles. This is the reason why they've uploaded 200 plus albums featuring such hits as bikinis in Vegas, bikinis while camping, and bikinis at their grandmother's 80th birthday.  

You're the answer. You're all they need. You can finally answer the question that has plagued womankind ever since the creation of social networking: